Now given my personality and approach to life, conflict is something I generally try to avoid.

But, as I’ve gotten more advanced into this 5 years to 40 journey, I’ve noticed that often it’s the very thing you are trying to avoid that you wind up coming face to face with – regularly.

In yoga, when you want to deepen a pose, you focus on taking deeper breaths and then applying pressure. If you are an experienced yogi, you know we refer to this as “challenging the pose.”

I have applied this practice both on and off the mat because sometimes, the only way to move past discomfort is to push through it.

In 2020, I committed myself to grace, gratitude, and growth. I realized that achieving this would require me to expand my reasoning skills. However, I soon discovered that true growth demands a great deal of love, tolerance, and the ability to forgive and let go of things.

I can’t say that I have mastered dealing with conflict. The journey has not been linear. Somedays, I’ve handled conflict with wisdom and empathy. But there were some days I retaliated, reacting rather than responding. However, I have given myself more than enough grace to deal with my flips and slips.

Two things I can say confidently, Conflict is a normal part of life and our response to it determines how much growth we experience.

Here’s what I’m grateful to have learned about peacefully dealing with conflict so far:

1. There is freedom in facing conflict

Unresolved conflict is a kleptomaniac. Any negative issue concerning yourself or others is better dealt with head-on. If it remains unaddressed it can rob you of your time, your peace of mind, your creativity and your health.

Every second spent ruminating on angry, unhealthy thoughts or experiences is a second you could have spent being happy.

Of course, this does not apply if you are in a heated argument. If you realise the wiser move is to walk away, then, by all means, please do so.

But if you are shying away from a needed conversation, don’t let conflict steal your time and opportunities to be happy.

Deal with it and move on.

2. Use words of repair

Now that you’ve decided to deal with the conflict you are facing, remember that resolving conflict requires assertive communication.

When you are facing off with the person (s) you need to use kind, clear words.

Angry, condescending language will infuriate the person you’re communicating with and it would probably make you sound like an a**hole.

Adulting means we’re too grown for that kind of behaviour, speak your truth clearly, kindly and move on.

3. Be willing to see things differently.

I don’t know about you but 2020 was a shitstorm of a year. The uncertainty of ‘everything’ affected us differently and during the year, I noticed that sometimes I responded significantly to things of slight consequence.

As soon as I become aware of it, I’d ask myself how can I see things differently?

The course of miracles makes a wonderful assertion that everything we see has meaning, only because we give it one. A chair, a book, a conversation, an energy-efficient coworker, an unfair evaluation system, a crazy ex, or a selfish friend.

None of those things matters if we don’t give it any meaning.

And so, whenever I find myself mulling over situations that are negative I change or remove the meaning in my head.

So instead of saying ‘This is so unfair’, I say ‘God sees my capabilities, he knows I can handle a lot more than I think and he’s preparing me for where he is taking me’.

This simple question ‘ How can I see this differently’ has been the preemptor to many a miracle in my life.

Now if you want to learn more about conflict and dealing with it in a healthy manner, check out my youtube channel and podcasts with these links.

Big Sister Saturday – Letting Go: A Path to Personal Growth – 5 Years To 40

SummaryIn this episode of the 5 Years to 40 podcast, Annisha Jones shares her insights on the importance of letting go of past attachments, expectations, and toxic relationships to create space for personal growth and joy. She emphasizes the necessity of acknowledging feelings, practicing gratitude, and setting boundaries as essential strategies for navigating life's challenges. The conversation encourages listeners to embrace change and invest in their personal development while fostering a supportive community.

1. Big Sister Saturday – Letting Go: A Path to Personal Growth 32:29
2. Big Sister Saturday – 6 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT STAYING FOCUSED 27:24
3. Big Sister Saturday: 6 things to do to sky rocket your career in your 20's 18:58
4. For the Young ones – Saturday Special: The Power of Personal Accountability: 6 things I know for sure 31:30
5. I hosted an Accountability Group for 12 weeks : Here's What I Learned! 16:18

Have a beautiful week ahead, keep doing your most.