Self-love is a popular topic these days, and for good reason. It is the foundation of a healthy, fulfilled and happy life. 

Life is a stunning experience and when you truly love and accept yourself fully, you treat yourself with kindness and respect that brings you positive results in your health, finances, career and relationships. 

Very often practising self-love is linked to self-care habits like journaling, meditation, bubble baths, trips, chocolate, and rest ect, those things are wonderful but are not the only part of self-love.

Self-love is not always easy or straightforward. There are some aspects of it that are misunderstood, or even avoided. 

If you find yourself resisting getting on board with the self-love bandwagon – here are five things you need to know about self-love:

1. Self-love is not selfish

Whenever the topic of self-love comes up, some people may think that it means putting yourself first at the expense of others, or that it is a sign of arrogance or narcissism. 

This is simply not true. Self-love is not about being self-centred or egotistical. It is about being self-aware and self-compassionate. It is about recognizing your own needs and boundaries and honouring them without harming or neglecting others. Self-love is not selfishness; it is self-respect.

2. Self-love is not being perfect.

Self-love has nothing to do with being perfect, it is about accepting your imperfections and mistakes with grace and poise and being willing to learn from them.  

And sure, when you love yourself, you are going to have high standards.  But these standards are not meant to avoid criticism or failure, they are meant to support your personal development and sense of confidence in yourself.

3. Self-love is not an excuse to be complacent

Some people may think that self-love is a way of escaping challenges or growth. As if you accept yourself as you are, then you are somehow cosigning on becoming stagnant in your life. 

Oh please!

This is just not true, self-love liberates you to be dynamic and curious. It gives you the freedom to start unapologetically exploring your potential and pursuing your passions. Self-love is not complacency; it is self-actualization.

4. Self-love is not isolation

Does self-love make you more Self-reliant – yes. Does self-love make you overly independent, solitary or avoidant of intimacy or connection…. hell no!. 

Self-love is not about being alone or lonely. When you love yourself, you begin to appreciate your own company, but you also become more reverent of other people’s time and space as well.  You intentionally carve out relationships where you are connected and supported and spend time cultivating healthy relationships with yourself and others while sharing your gifts and talents with the world. 

5. Self-love is not ‘easy breezy’ work

Friend, self-love is not for the fainthearted.  Sure, as your coach I may post pretty pictures and memes to keep you encouraged, but when we get to our personal sessions, and make the link between self-love and showing up with clarity and confidence, we discover that self-love is less about being happy or comfortable all the time and more about bout being authentic and resilient. It is about embracing your emotions and experiences, both positive and negative, and coping with them in healthy ways. 

These are some of the things that people do not talk about in self-love, but they are essential to understand and practice.

Self-love is not a simple or superficial concept; it is a complex and profound one. It has many facets and dimensions, requiring courage and commitment.

But self-love is also rewarding and empowering. It can transform your life in amazing ways. It can help you discover your true self, achieve your goals, overcome challenges, heal your wounds, and create happiness.

So don’t be afraid of self-love; embrace it and learn from it. And don’t be silent about the light side of self-love; celebrate it and share it.

You deserve to love yourself fully, deeply, and unconditionally.

You are worthy of self-love.

If you want to learn more about self-love and how it impacts clarity and confidence in your 30s, you can listen to the 5 Years to 40 podcasts and read the blog. You will find inspiring stories, practical tips, and valuable resources that can help you navigate this exciting and transformative decade of your life.