Do you ever feel like you are stuck in a loop of repeating the same mistakes, missing the same opportunities, facing the same challenges, or attracting the same types of people in your life? 

Yeah Sis, I’ve been there, so trust me when I say, you are not alone. Many millennials struggle with breaking free from the patterns that keep them from reaching their full potential and happiness.

I once read that we all have divine lessons to learn and master. Until we do, the universe will keep sending us the same scenarios in different forms. It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and move forward.

That may sound woo-woo, but it explained a lot to me.

If you have recognised some patterns you’re not thrilled with… that’s awesome!!

Recognizing the patterns is the most important step towards breaking them. 

Here are some tips to help you move forward:

1. Reflect on your past experiences. 

One of the best ways to identify the patterns in your life is to look back at your previous situations and relationships. 

What were the common themes, issues, or outcomes that you encountered?

How did you feel, act, or react in those situations?

What did you learn or gain from them? 

Journaling is a perfect solution for this and you can start your journaling now by shopping my joy journal from Amazon. Or you can shop my affirmation journals from my store Well Worded Accessesssories. 

Either way, you help yourself to reflect when you write down your answers and look for any similarities or connections.

2. Identify your triggers and emotions. 

Another way to understand the patterns in your life is to pay attention to what triggers you and how you feel in the present moment. 

What are the things, people, or events that make you angry, sad, anxious, or frustrated? How do you cope with these emotions? 

Do you avoid, deny, or suppress them, or do you express, accept, or release them?

At this age, we should resist the urge to shy away from the things we’re not excelling at; facing them head-on is essential for our growth as individuals striving for improvement.

Don’t be afraid to face your emotions and get curious about how they affect your behaviour and decisions.

3. Change your perspective and actions. 

Growth demands change. Period.

Once you have identified the patterns in your life and what causes them, you can start to change them by changing your perspective and actions. Instead of seeing the patterns as problems or obstacles, see them as opportunities or challenges.

In my passive-aggressive era, I had several ‘situations’ where people had unrealistic expectations for me, and I played along instead of being assertive and discussing outcomes and expectations that were mutually beneficial. 

As soon as I changed the approach, my experience with those situations shifted.  I was less worried and worked up about how inconsiderate people were and more focused on letting them know what worked for me and what didn’t.

 Instead of repeating the same responses or reactions, take the time to figure out what you would want. If you don’t like what’s playing on the station in your life, the remote is always in your hands babe, change the damn channel!

I experienced a mix of emotions when everything finally clicked. It was baffling to realize that despite being intelligent and capable, I couldn’t seem to get it right when it came to love. After years of repeating the same patterns and feeling like something was off, a certified therapist was finally able to provide the guidance I needed.

Intentionally choose a new or different approach to familiar problems. Instead of blaming others or yourself, take responsibility and be accountable.

4. Seek help and support. 

Therapy. You’re welcome!

Breaking the patterns in your life is not easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. 

I had a colossal breakthrough in therapy this year about romantic love in my life and the lack of it. I finally came to understand my tendency to be attracted to situations that started beautifully and ended in wrecks.  

As much as I loved love, I was afraid of it because of how I saw it manifested as a child. And so, to avoid getting hurt I’d choose situations and partners that I knew things could never work out with.  I know that it came from years of conditioning and my brain being protective of me, but hunny, protection or not, that pattern needed to end.

I feel brand new, sis.

 You can seek help and support from professionals, mentors, friends, family, or anyone who can offer you guidance, advice, feedback, or encouragement. You can also join communities, groups, or networks of people who share similar goals, interests, or experiences as you.

By learning from the patterns in your life and breaking them, you can create a more fulfilling and fascinating life for yourself and others. You can also align yourself with God and his purpose for you.

If you want to learn more about how to break the patterns in your life and achieve your dreams and goals, I highly recommend you listen to the 5 Years to 40 Podcast where I share personal stories, insights, and tips on how to navigate life as a millennial woman in today’s world. 

I hope this blog post was helpful and inspiring for you.

Thank you for reading and have a beautiful day!