Hey friend,

September was dedicated to Self-Love and I hosted a 7-day self-love challenge on Instagram for my followers and myself. If you missed I’ve got a few more challenges in store, as I wind down the clock on turning 40.

During the challenge, we looked at some ways that we could be practical with self-love. We wanted to get our hands in the clay of our lives and honestly figure out what was holding us back from loving and honouring ourselves.

We discovered that one of the barriers to self-love was our tendency to criticise ourselves and others.

Sharing is caring so, in this post we’ll look at some tips on how to stop criticising ourselves, criticising others and build self-love. 

Self-criticism can often hold us back from embracing self-love. It chips away at our self-esteem and confidence, preventing us from experiencing clarity and happiness. This negative mindset not only impacts how we engage in our relationships but also affects our performance in our careers and overall well-being. If you’re ready to stop being your own worst enemy, discover ways to silence your inner critic and welcome your inner ally.

It can also affect how we show up in our relationships, performance in our careers and overall well-being. 

If you are tired of being your own worst enemy, here are some ways to silence your inner critic and embrace your inner ally.

1. Speak to yourself as if you are your own best friend.

Would you tell her that she is no good?

 Would you give her a hard time? 

Would you focus on her flaws and mistakes? 

Of course not. 

You would be kind, supportive, and compassionate. You would help her to remember her strengths and achievements. You would help her overcome her challenges and grow. 

Why not do the same for yourself?  

The next time life feels like it’s spiralling downward, instead of agreeing with the negative voices that highlight everything going wrong, stand up for yourself and silence them. Respond with powerful affirmations: tell yourself—out loud if necessary—that “I am the head and not the tail,” “Good things always happen for me,” “I am more than capable of overcoming,” and “All is well; from this, only good will come.”

This is precisely why we practice our affirmations. Speaking these words of truth is one of the most loving actions we can take for ourselves. Let’s focus on the positives in our lives and continue moving forward toward our truly fascinating futures.

2. Make a daily list of the things you appreciate about yourself.

One of the most powerful ways to cultivate self-love is by embracing gratitude for yourself. To make this practice truly effective, we must be intentional. Imagine it like a year-end evaluation with your boss, where you reflect on your accomplishments. To earn a high grade, you would need to highlight the moments you excelled, took initiative, or left a positive impression on a customer. As you begin to document your wins, you’ll discover an abundance of experiences worth celebrating, reinforcing your self-worth and confidence.

Embrace the power of gratitude journaling by taking a moment each day to reflect on at least three things you appreciate about yourself. A wonderful companion for this practice is my Joy Journal, crafted just for you to document your joyful experiences, available on Amazon.

The more you engage in this, the more you’ll notice and appreciate the awesome things about yourself. You’ll also see just how much you have to share with the world and with yourself!

You can start with this journal prompt:  What do  I love most about my personality?

3. End any obsession with perfection

At this age, we recognize that perfection is an illusion. Everyone makes mistakes, has flaws, and confronts challenges. Doubts and fears are universal, and that’s perfectly okay—it’s what makes us human. Rather than harshly judging yourself for your imperfections, embrace them with compassion and understanding. View your errors as stepping stones on your journey of growth and self-discovery.

Learn from your errors and use them as opportunities for growth.

The most important lesson I’ve learned in letting go of perfection is the power of forgiveness—for myself and others. Today, I choose to embrace the present and future. Let’s release the odd need for perfection and strive for excellence instead of perfection.

I also created a meditation for participants of the 7-day challenge. You can listen here: https://bit.ly/3qXqU1Y

Our words can change our world, so try this affirmation to help you silence self-criticism. I am proud of who I am and what I have accomplished.

These are some of the methods that have helped me overcome my self-criticism and build self-love. I hope they will help you too. Remember that you are worthy of love, especially from yourself.