There is no getting around it, as long as you are alive and trying new things you are going to find that ‘failure’ is inevitable.

We all experience it at some point, whether it is in our personal or professional endeavours. However, some of us are more afraid of failure than others. We let the fear of failure stop us from pursuing our goals, taking risks, or trying new things.

We worry about what others will think of us. We wonder how we will cope with the consequences and antagonise over how we will recover from the disappointment.

We stay stuck in our heads and in doing so, we also avoid success and growth.

Did you know that the fear of failure is a learned habit?

According to the psychotherapist Marrissa Peer, as babies we are born with 2 fears – the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.

We came into the world with two primitive fears but, as we grew, our past experiences, the people in our environment, and our beliefs racked up and stacked up a litany of things to be afraid of.

The good news is that because the fear of failure is learned, it is also something that we can unlearn and overcome.

Here are five hacks to help you overcome the fear of failure and embrace it as a learning opportunity:

1. Redefine Failure

My favourite book says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” Our life is out pictured by the thoughts we think. Therefore, the way we think about failure determines how we react to it.

If we think about our failures as a sign of weakness, incompetence, or worthlessness, then of course we will feel ashamed, discouraged, and hopeless.

It takes courage to face setbacks. I get that, and it’s way easier to hide our disappointments and pacify ourselves by pointing fingers or getting frustrated and disgruntled. 

An option I’ve found that’s infinitely better is embracing failure as a stepping stone towards success.

I’ve declared that every setback is an experience that helped me gain valuable lessons and feedback about myself and others.

See that declaration redefines my setbacks.   Suddenly, hindrances are friendly, and obstacles are stepping stones to happy outcomes.

Always keep in mind that setbacks are temporary but  can be of permanent good if you redefine it as something positive, learn the lesson well, and pass on the wisdom you’ve gained. 

2. Set realistic and Specific Goals

Ok, I’m going to give you straight –  one of the reasons why we fear failure is because we set unrealistic and vague goals that are beyond our reach or control.

For example, if your goal is to be the best in your field, you will feel overwhelmed and intimidated by the competition and the expectations.

Why put yourself through that pressure, Sis?

Truth is, there is no need to compete and keep up when the only person you should be in competition with is yourself

Now, if you were to set a goal to improve your skills by 10% in the next six months, you would feel more confident and focused on your actions and outcomes.

Setting realistic and specific goals helps you measure your progress, celebrate your achievements, and adjust your strategies.

If you want to learn more, read this blog post where I share on how we can set and stick to our Goals.

 

3. Prepare for the best-case scenario

Another reason why we fear failure is because we imagine the worst possible outcomes and consequences that could happen if we fail. We scare ourselves with vain imaginations and worry about things that will never happen.

For example, if you want to start your own business, you might think that if you fail, you will lose all your money, ruin your reputation, and end up homeless.

However, these scenarios are often exaggerated and unlikely to happen.

Instead of letting your imagination run wild, prepare for the best-case scenario by asking yourself:

What is the worst thing that could happen if I fail?

How likely is it to happen?

How can I prevent it or cope with it?

If you want to learn more about using self-love to stop scaring yourself and manage your fearful thoughts, check out this blog post.

4. Learn From Your Mistakes

A major part of rising triumphantly from failures is the ability to learn from your mistakes. Often when we encounter failure, we think that if we fail, we have nothing to show for it and we have to start from scratch.

Girl, you know that is not true. Every single failure is an opportunity to learn something new and valuable that can help us improve and grow.

Instead of dwelling on your mistakes, and getting sucked into victim thinking, learn from them by asking yourself:

What were the things I got wrong?

What did I get right?

What can I do differently next time?

Share a time you learned from a mistake in the comments, and I will share mine as well.

5. Seek Support and Feedback

Very often we fear failure because we feel alone and isolated in our struggles.

We think that no one understands us or supports us and that everyone judges us or rejects us.

None of that is true. There are countless people, some of whom we have not even met yet who care about you and want you to succeed.

I’m not being overly optimistic at this age, I’ve had the privilege of being helped unexpectedly by so many people, so many times.

You can too, there are destiny helpers  that show up exactly when you need them, family, friends, mentors, or coaches all around to offer us support and feedback that can help us overcome our fears and achieve our goals.

Whenever I experience failures and setbacks, I journal heavily and I tell myself – that my overcoming will be someone’s way out.

Instead of hiding your failures, seek support and feedback by asking yourself:

Who can I talk to about my failures?

What can they teach me or help me with?

How can I thank them or repay them?

Conclusion

Overcoming… or perhaps I should say  unlearning the fear of failure is something we will all need to do to have a fascinating life.

By applying these five hacks, you can change your mindset and behaviour towards failure and turn it into a positive and powerful force for your personal and professional growth.

If you enjoyed this blog post and want to learn more about how to overcome your fears and achieve your goals before turning 40, subscribe to our blog and get notified of new posts every week.

Also, don’t miss our podcast “5 Years to 40”, where we interview successful millennials who share their stories, insights, and tips on how they overcame their fears and challenges before reaching their 40s.

Thank you for reading and have a beautiful day! Keep doing your most! 😊