Hey Friend,

Let’s talk about something near and dear to our hearts: friendship. As we navigate the beautiful, sometimes chaotic landscape of our forties, friendships take on a whole new meaning. 

We’ve learned, grown, and perhaps, just perhaps, we’ve experienced a few heartbreaks in friendship along the way. 

Honestly, when it comes to heartbreaks, I believe friendship breakups are more complex than those with boyfriends or girlfriends. When you break up with a lover, you don’t tend to care about the people around them. You might miss their mum a little, but certainly not their friends, and so on. 

On the other hand, when you break up with a friend, there are some social and emotional burdens to be paid. Someone gets kicked out of the group chat. Or a new group chat can be formed without you knowing. Suddenly, it becomes awkward to go to places and celebrate birthdays because you all have mutual favourite spots and mutual favourite people. I don’t know about you all, but to me, it can be very stressful.

But here’s the beautiful truth: this chapter is ripe with opportunities for deep, meaningful connections.

The Landscape of Forty-Something Friendships

Our forties bring different life stages. Some of us chase toddlers in the playground, others deal with the challenges of teenagers, and some enjoy a quieter home life.

This diversity, while fantastic, can sometimes make maintaining friendships feel like a juggling act.

But here’s the secret: it’s all about being flexible. I’ve come to embrace that, yes, things are constantly changing, and so are our friendships. 

We must learn to anticipate changes, accept that everyone is on their own unique path, and celebrate those differences.

Finding Your Tribe: Similarities Over Differences

Yes, our lives may look different on the surface, but deep down, we share so much. We crave connection, laughter, and understanding. We have ambitions, we have fears, and even when we are really really brave, we have doubts and insecurities

That’s why I look for the common threads. Good conversations with my friends who share values and have a similar love of books, wine, and politics are life-giving for me. Collaborating with my friends who have a passion for personal growth keeps me on my toes and my head in the game of life.

Remember, finding your tribe isn’t about having identical lives or points of view; it’s about finding people who get you, lift you up, and make you feel seen.

Letting Go of Past Disappointments

In our forties, we’re wiser, more self-aware, and more discerning about what we need in a friendship.

Partly because at this age, we have friendships that have stood the test of time, but also those that didn’t quite pan out. 

Some fizzled out naturally, some drifted apart, and some were necessary. Perhaps you moved to a new area, or there was a painful falling out. 

Whatever the reason, our maturity and authenticity at this age help us let go of the past and use the wisdom we gained to open our hearts to new possibilities.

Keep the Faith, There is Hope

If you are one of the persons who lost friends, I beg you, friend, don’t let past disappointments dim your hope.

The truth is, meaningful friendships are absolutely possible in your forties. I’m a plant mom, so I think of friendships as gardens. Some require more tending than others, and some bloom in unexpected seasons. But the beauty they bring is always worth it.

Cultivating Connection: 

As you go out there finding new relationships, here are a few things I’ve found useful

a. Be Intentional: 

Schedule time for your friendships, even if it’s just a quick phone call or a virtual coffee date.

b. Listen Actively: 

Truly listen to what your friends are saying. Show genuine interest in their lives.

c. Embrace Vulnerability:

I’m becoming more intentional about this. This has been a challenge for me because I typically find myself in the role of the listener in my relationships. It’s all too easy to let others share their stories while I keep my own struggles and joys to myself. It’s important to share your own experiences and feelings. Remember, genuine connections flourish through vulnerability.

 d. Embrace Imperfection: 

We’re all works in progress, so embrace who you are—quirks and flaws included. Accepting yourself and your friends for who you truly are is important.

e. Look for opportunities to meet new people: 

Join groups, attend events, and put yourself out there.

• Go slow and steady
  • Sometimes, we confuse shared interests with deeper connections. Just because you bond with someone over common activities, doesn’t mean they’re the right person to discuss personal matters. To build lasting relationships, give people time to demonstrate their trustworthiness. It takes time, but consistency is key.

Join Us! Finding Your Community

If you’re ready to reignite your social life and connect with like-minded men and women, I invite you to the All Aglow Empowerment Breakfast on June 29th. 

It’s a fantastic opportunity to meet incredible women, share stories, and build new friendships.

If you want ongoing support and accountability in your friendship journey, consider joining my 90-day accountability group. It’s a safe space to connect, share your experiences, and pursue your goals for building meaningful friendships.

Let’s embrace this chapter with open hearts and renewed hope. The best is yet to come!

Let’s find our glow together!