Are you in your 40s and feeling like you’re navigating a maze of responsibilities? 

Your children need this, your job demands that, and somewhere in the middle of it all, you might have lost touch with what you truly want. 

Midlife can often feel like a constant juggling act, where the things we have to do – the “shoulds” of life – drown out the whispers of the things our hearts long for. 

You might find yourself wondering, “Is this it?” Or perhaps, you noticed a quiet yearning for something more, but with everything you have going on every day, who has the time to explore that?

You’re not alone. This is a common experience as we juggle careers, family, and the societal expectations that come with this amazing stage of life. 

The good news is, it’s absolutely possible to cut through the noise and reconnect with your authentic goals.

If you are interested, it’s time to excavate what truly matters, give yourself permission to dream again, and carve out space for the inner wisdom that’s waiting to guide you.

Let’s dive into three powerful steps to uncover what you truly desire in midlife.

1.What do you value? Digging Deep to Find Your inner guides

For me, for now, it’s joy, connection, inspired action, freedom, peace, support, creativity, beauty and excellence.

Our core values change as we change, but at any stage of life, identifying what our core values are, is a powerful tool.

They become an internal compass, guiding our decisions and fueling our sense of fulfillment. It’s a step towards taking control of our life and aligning it with what we truly care about.

If you need help figuring out your core values are, these questions and prompts may help:

• What principles do you absolutely refuse to compromise on?
• What qualities do you admire most in others?
• Think about moments in your life when you felt truly alive and authentic. What values were being honored in those moments?
• What activities or causes naturally draw your attention and energy?
• If you had unlimited resources and influence, what problems in the world would you try to solve? (This can often point to underlying values like justice, equality, or environmentalism).

Also, here are some examples of core values to get you started:

• Family
• Freedom
• Creativity
• Integrity
• Kindness
• Learning
• Adventure
• Security
• Contribution
• Health
• Spirituality
• Connection

Once you have a list of your key values, reflect on how well your current life – your job, your relationships, your daily routines, even your parenting approach – aligns with them.

Are there areas where you feel a disconnect?

Understanding this misalignment is the first step towards making choices that honor your true self.

For instance, if “creativity” is a core value, and your current job offers no outlet for it, this could explain feelings of dissatisfaction and point towards exploring more creative avenues in your career. 

Similarly, if “connection” is vital, and you feel isolated, consciously seeking out meaningful interactions will become a priority in your relationships.

Knowing your values acts as a filter for your decisions, helping you say “yes” to opportunities that resonate and “no” to those that don’t. And boy, that helps to increase the clarity in our life and confidence in which we show up.

2. Limits for who… not you.

Growing up in Mon Repos Morvant (Trinidad) and then LaBeau hill in La Tante (Grenada), I used to dream the biggest dreams.  My sisters, cousins and I would sit for hours and talk about what we would be and places we would go when we got ‘big’.  Build a big house, travel to ‘America’, eat plenty cornbeef and not have to share it with anybody. lol

I’m sure you could relate right? Childhood, has this tendency to make us feel and anything was possible. 

And then comes Midlife.  The time that can sometimes box us in with perceived limitations – and we find ourselves saying “I’m too old for that,” “I don’t have the time or money,” “What will people think?” to the very things our childhood selves dreamed up for us.

It’s time to dismantle those self-imposed barriers and tap back into that boundless imagination. 

This step is all about giving yourself permission to dream freely, without the constraints of being “practical” or of being afraid. I’ve learned that fear is the worst reason for not doing a thing. Matter of fact, like David says in the bible “the thing I fear most has come upon me”. Sometimes its the very thing we are afraid of happening is what does.

We wage some war against these fears, if you’re with me, Try these exercises. I can vouch for the ideal day, works wonders to shift your mood and improve your attitude about the future.

• The “No Limits” Brainstorm: Grab a notebook and ask yourself: “If money, time, and fear were absolutely not factors, what would I truly love to do?” Don’t censor yourself. Write down everything that comes to mind, no matter how wild or unrealistic it might seem initially. This could be anything from learning to play a specific musical instrument to moving to a different country, starting your own business, or writing a novel.

• Imagine Your Ideal Day: Picture a perfect day, not based on what you should be doing, but what genuinely brings you joy and fulfillment. What are you doing? Who are you with? Where are you? What kind of work (if any) are you engaged in? This exercise can reveal hidden desires and paint a clearer picture of your ideal lifestyle.

• Connect to Your Younger Self: Think back to your passions and interests before the weight of adult responsibilities set in. What did you love doing? What were you curious about? Sometimes, revisiting these earlier inclinations can shine a light on desires that were simply put on hold.

This “dream inventory” is particularly powerful when considering a job change. Perhaps your current career path was chosen based on security or societal expectations, not genuine passion. By exploring your “no limits” dreams, you might uncover a completely different field or type of work that truly excites you. Even if a complete career overhaul isn’t immediately feasible, identifying these deeper desires can inspire you to find ways to incorporate those elements into your current work or pursue them as fulfilling side projects.

3. Mindful Moments: Creating Space for Your Inner Voice to Be Heard

In the hustle and bustle of midlife, it’s easy for our own inner voice to get lost in daily life. Creating dedicated “mindful moments” helps us to tune in, reflect on our values and dreams, and gaining clarity on our true desires.

Now, these don’t have to be elaborate routines.  I like to habit stack my mindfulness, so journaling while having a cup of tea, or reciting  affirmations while moisturing my body works – even small pockets of stillness can make a difference.

Here’s some other practices you can consider:

• Morning Happy Habits: Before the demands of the day take over, carve out even 5-10 minutes for quiet reflection. This could involve gentle stretching, a few minutes of mindful breathing, journaling, or simply enjoying your morning coffee in silence, observing your thoughts without judgment.
• Solo Walks in Nature: Spending time in nature, especially without distractions like your phone, can be incredibly grounding and help your thoughts settle. Take a moment to appreciate the beauty around you, listen to the sounds of nature, and let your mind wander. Walking along the beach in Grenada can be particularly restorative!
• I walk most mornings in my neighborhood, leaving home before the sun rises. If I’m lucky, I catch the full moon setting; otherwise, I might see the sun rising. Regardless, the peacefulness of the world at that time is good for my blood sugar levels and my soul. I highly recommend it!

• Journaling Prompts: Use specific prompts to guide your reflection. Some examples include:

• “What am I truly grateful for in this moment?”
• “What one small step can I take today towards a dream?”
• “What am I learning about myself right now?”
• “What brings me a sense of peace?”

<a href="http://<button class="ml-onclick-form" onclick="ml('show', '8drVzR', true)">Click here to show formJoin me for an inspiring 3-day Journaling for Clarity Challenge from August 25 to 27, 2025!

This is a wonderful opportunity to embark on a journey of self-discovery and insight. By signing up, you’ll receive daily journal prompts delivered straight to your phone, designed to help you gain deeper clarity in your life. Don’t miss out on this chance to unlock your potential and make meaningful shifts. I can’t wait to see you there!

Let’s get clear about how we will be facing the remainder of the year.

• Mini-Meditations: Even a few minutes of focused breathing or a guided meditation app can help quiet the mental chatter and create space for inner insights to surface.

These mindful moments aren’t about forcing answers or achieving instant clarity. They are about creating the space for your intuition to speak, for your values to resonate, and for your true desires to gently emerge from beneath the surface of the everyday.

Your Journey Begins Now

Uncovering your true midlife desires is a journey of self-discovery, not a destination to be reached overnight. Be patient with yourself, be curious, and be open to the possibilities that emerge as you create space for clarity, connection to your values, and the courage to dream again.

 

Now, I’d love to hear from you! What is one key value that guides you in your life right now?

<a href="http://<a class="ml-onclick-form" href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="ml('show', '8drVzR', true)">Click here to show formOr perhaps, what’s a new dream that started to surface as you read this? Share your thoughts in the comments below – you never know who your experiences might inspire!